Oh The Joy's Of Pregnancy

So up until the last few days I was feeling pretty good aside from being tired exhausted.. then the nausea kicked in. I thought I was going to have a smooth sailing pregnancy this time around which was leading me to believe it was a BOY. I mean with all the cravings I have been having it has made it interesting since I never had them with Shiloh. But now that nausea has joined me I am starting to think GIRL.

I am so exhausted.. it doesn't matter if I sleep 8 hours or 12 hours a night I am still so tired the next day. I can nap during the day & be in bed by 9pm & still exhausted. I have zero energy & no idea how to handle it. When I was pregnant with Shiloh even though I was sick I was still a clean freak... I would clean get sick nap then wake up & clean some more. I couldn't handle the house being a mess & seeing it a mess made me sick. With this pregnancy my house looks like a daycare is run out of it & the laundry is everywhere.. I have ZERO energy to pick up toys, fold laundry, do laundry, put dishes away, clean dishes & cooking well it only gets done because we have to eat & well eating makes me feel a little better. But we have had hamburger helper nights more often now & I have my hubby make that LOL. I can't stand my house being a mess its actually depressing me.. my husband doesn't want me to clean with cleaning products so the bathrooms are so gross {I can't get mad at Stephen either because he already does so much} I just feel so helpless.. I try to get up the motivation to clean & I either get dizzy or I am so tired I can't do it.

The last few days I have been getting pretty nauseous.. well today its full effect! I can't do anything.. I am at the point where I just wish I could get sick so I would feel some what better but then I know after that I will want to sleep & well my child & napping when she is not ready is a nightmare. It seems as long as I drink water, lay down or stuff my face I am okay.. but its hard when you have a toddler who wants to play & I just don't have the energy to. Also eating has become a challenge because I have to eat small portions & I tend to forget & stuff my face & then I am so full I am sick & can't sleep, I can't even eat the normal size helpings I would when I wasn't pregnant & that to me makes me think TWINS because they say with twins your are completely exhausted from your body having to do double the work & that your appetite is huge but that you can't eat as much because you don't have as much room since there are two babies in the belly. I hope this ends soon so that our lives aren't too crazy the next 7 or 8 months.. but if not oh well.. its all worth it to have another baby {s} & to give Shiloh a sibling. So I am going to cross my fingers this won't last my entire pregnancy like it did with Shiloh.

Here is my bump as of May 23rd I am still not sure how far along I am so I am just going to say 6 or 7 weeks.. its still growing fast.. but I am still at the "is she getting fat or is she pregnant stage"

Things I Have To Avoid

So I know its only been a few years since I had Shiloh but I feel like I have forgotten so much in this time of things I CAN'T do while pregnant.. & there I things I never new as well. I am reading up on all of this since I am feeling so great with this pregnancy & can eat much more & can actually get out and do things since I am not so sick & have to stay in bed.

Here is a list of foods you can't have while pregnant from WebMD:

• Swordfish, shark, tilefish, king mackerel, limit canned albacore tuna fish. These large fish harbor higher levels of methylymercury, a metal detrimental to a growing child's brain and nervous system. Pregnant and nursing women may safely eat up to 6 ounces of albacore ("white') tuna fish as part of their weekly total limit of 12 ounces of seafood low in mercury, says the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). This also includes salmon, shrimp, canned light tuna, pollock, and catfish.
  
• Fish caught in rivers, lakes, streams, or any other body of water. Recreational anglers may hook fish contaminated with bacteria or chemicals. Check the safety of fish from your favorite fishing grounds with your local health department.
  
• Raw or undercooked meat, poultry, seafood (like raw oysters, clams, sushi), and eggs (including eggs in cookie dough and cake batter). Undercooked animal foods may contain a variety of bacteria and viruses. Use a meat thermometer to determine doneness of meat and poultry, and cook eggs until they are no longer runny.
  
• Hot dogs and luncheon meats, including deli ham, turkey, bologna, and salami -- unless they have been reheated until steaming hot. These foods are prone to Listeria monocytogenes, a bacteria that causes listeriosis, which may result in miscarriage, stillbirth, or other serious health problems.
  
• Unpasteurized dairy foods, including some milk and certain cheeses, such as Brie, feta, Camembert, Roquefort, blue-veined, "queso blanco," "queso fresco," and Panela; refrigerated pates or meat spreads; and refrigerated smoked seafood, such as salmon, trout, whitefish, cod, tuna, or mackerel (most often labeled as "nova-style," "lox," "kippered," "smoked," or "jerky"). These foods may contain harmful levels of listeria bacteria. Refrigerated smoked seafood is safe when it's part of a cooked dish, like casseroles.
  
• Unpasteurized juices, such as cider purchased from roadside stands, at farms, or in stores. These products are prone to germs, including E. coli. Check the label to be sure juice is pasteurized.
  
• Raw vegetable sprouts, including alfalfa, clover, radish, and mung bean. The FDA says sprouts are not a good idea for anyone, never mind pregnant women who are more susceptible to the health effects of the germs sprouts possess.
  
• Herbal supplements and teas. Herbs are natural, but herbal products have not been studied enough to recommend them during pregnancy.
  
• Alcohol. Beer, wine, and spirits rob developing cells of oxygen, making normal development impossible. The effects of alcohol on intellectual prowess are irreparable. According to the March of Dimes, there is no known safe level for alcohol consumption in pregnancy.
  
• Tap water in undeveloped countries. Drink bottled water to avoid bacteria and viruses.
  
• Certain foods that cause food allergy. Depending on your family history, your child may be at risk for developing food allergies. Avoiding foods including peanuts and peanut products during pregnancy (and nursing) may reduce allergy risk in susceptible children. Before you make any changes to your diet, speak with a licensed health care professional about your child's risk for allergy and consult with a registered dietitian knowledgeable about food allergy.
  

So I knew most of these but I had no clue Deli Meat was out.. which stinks because I have been craving Roast Beef Sandwiches like no other.

Here are activities I have to avoid now from BabyCenter:

• Amusement park rides: Waterslides and other rides at amusement parks are a no-no, since a forceful landing or sudden start or stop could harm your baby.

• Bicycling: Cycling isn't a good idea for newbies, but experienced riders may be able to continue until their second trimester, when a shifting center of gravity affects balance and can make cycling dangerous.

• Contact sports: Soccer, basketball, and hockey put you at a high risk of injury from a ball or puck, a collision with another player, or a fall during play.

• Downhill skiing: ACOG advises against downhill skiing anytime during pregnancy because of the risk of serious injuries and hard falls. If you choose to ski, stick to gentle slopes and be aware that you may have problems with balance as your belly expands. A safer choice is cross-country skiing, which is also much better for building cardiovascular fitness. Avoid skiing at altitudes above 6,000 feet, where there's less oxygen for you and your baby.

• Gymnastics: Same risk of falling and increased chance of trauma to your abdomen.

• Horseback riding: Even if you're a good rider, it's not worth risking a fall.

• Post-sport tubs and saunas: Soaking in hot tubs and Jacuzzis or sitting in a sauna can be dangerous to your developing baby because overheating has been linked to birth defects.

• Running: If you weren't a runner before you got pregnant, now's not the time to take it up. Otherwise, it's fine in moderation. From your second trimester on, when the risk of falling increases, you should run with caution. As with all forms of exercise, avoid becoming overheated, and drink plenty of water to replace fluids lost through sweating.

• Scuba diving: This is an absolute no. As you surface, air bubbles can form in your bloodstream, which can be very dangerous for both you and your growing baby.

• Snowboarding: Same risk of falling and increased chance of trauma to your abdomen.

• Surfing: Same risk of falling and increased chance of trauma to your abdomen.

• Tennis: A moderately paced game of tennis is okay if you played before you became pregnant. But you may have problems with balance and sudden stops, so watch your step. Most women find that it's hard to keep up their game as their bellies get bigger in the second and third trimesters.

• Waterskiing: Another activity that puts you at risk for falling and increases the chance of trauma to your abdomen.

Good thing I don't plan on doing any of these activities any time soon.. how ever I never thought Tennis would be a bad thing.

Over-the-counter Medications I can take from BabyCenter:

Problem	Safe to take
Heartburn, gas and bloating, upset stomach	Antacids for heartburn (Maalox, Mylanta, Rolaids, Tums) Simethicone for gas pains (Gas-X, Maalox Anti-Gas, Mylanta Gas, Mylicon)
Cough or cold	Guaifenesin, an expectorant (Hytuss, Mucinex, Naldecon Senior EX, Robitussin) Dextromethorphan, a cough suppressant (Benylin Adult, Robitussin Maximum Strength Cough, Scot-Tussin DM, Vicks 44 Cough Relief) Guaifenesin plus dextromethorphan (Benylin Expectorant, Robitussin DM, Vicks 44E) Cough drops Vicks VapoRub Avoid cold remedies that contain alcohol. Also avoid the decongestants pseudoephedrine and phenylephrine, which can affect blood flow to the placenta.
Pain relief, headache, and fever	Acetaminophen (Anacin Aspirin-Free, Tylenol)
Allergy relief	Chlorpheniramine, an antihistamine (Chlor-Trimeton allergy tablets) Loratadine, an antihistamine (Alavert, Claritin, Tavist ND, Triaminic Allerchews) Diphenhydramine, an antihistamine (Banophen, Benadryl, Diphenhist, Genahist)
Constipation, hemorrhoids, and diarrhea	Psyllium (Konsyl-D, Metamucil, Modane Bulk, Perdiem) Polycarbophil (Equalactin, Fiber-Lax, FiberNorm, Konsyl-Fiber, Mitrolan) Methylcellulose (Citrucel, Unifiber) Other laxatives and stool softeners (Colace, Dulcolax, Maltsupex, milk of magnesia) Hemorrhoid creams (Anusol, Preparation H, Tucks) Loperamide, anti-diarrhea medication (Imodium, Kaopectate II, Maalox Anti-Diarrheal, Pepto Diarrhea Control)
Yeast infections and other fungal infections such as athlete's foot	Clotrimazole (Cruex, Gyne-Lotrimin 3, Lotrimin AF, Mycelex 7) Miconazole (Desenex, Femizol-M, Micatin, Monistat 3) Terbinafine (Lamisil AT) Tioconazole (Monistat 1, Vagistat 1) Butoconazole (Femstat 3, Mycelex 3) Butenafine (Lotrimin Ultra) Tolnaftate (Absorbine Athlete's Foot Cream, Absorbine Footcare, Genaspor, Tinactin) Undecylenic Acid and derivatives (Cruex, Desenex, Fungi Cure, Tinacide) Certain Cruex, Desenex, and Fungi Cure products may contain other antifungal agents not listed here that should not be used during pregnancy. Check the labels carefully.
Insomnia	Diphenhydramine (Benadryl, Maximum Strength Unisom SleepGels, Nytol, Sominex) Doxylamine succinate (Unisom Nighttime Sleep-Aid)
First-aid preparations	Hydrocortisone (Cortaid, Lanacort), Polysporin

NOTE: We've listed a few brand names as examples for each type of medication, but there are many more on the market. Be sure to check the label of every medication you consider taking to see what it contains.


I am not much of a Medicine taker but its nice to know what I can take since I thought all I was able to take was Tylenol.

Enviroments to Avoid from eHow:

*Cigarette Smoke. If you smoke, stop. Ask others not to smoke around you. Inhaling passive smoke is almost as harmful as smoking yourself.
* Lead: Stay away from lead paint, especially if repair work is being done or the paint is chipping off. You should be concerned if your house was built before 1978. Most companies stopped putting lead in paint in 1955, and the federal government banned lead in paint in 1978.
Make sure the tap water you drink is lead free. Check with your local environmental group or the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). If you suspect that the water may not be safe, get it tested for lead and contaminants by the EPA or get more information from the Health Department. Use only cold water for drinking and cooking. If your plumbing is very old or contains lead, consider changing it. Always run the tap for a few minutes before filling your glass, especially if the tap has not been used for a few hours.
* Manufacturing agents and chemicals: Those working in manufacturing or on a factory floor should avoid certain things when pregnant, as specified by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration. These include chemicals like alkylating agents, arsenic, benzene, carbon monoxide, chlorinated hydrocarbons, dimethyl sulfoxide, organic mercury compounds, lead, lithium, aluminum, ethylene oxide, dioxin and polychlorinated biphenyls.
* Cleaning agents and strong fumes: There is no proven link between household cleaners and pregnancy complications, but it is better to use these with extra caution when pregnant since they contain very strong chemicals and emit unpleasant odors. Use rubber gloves. Do not use toxic cleaners such as oven cleaners. Avoid inhaling the fumes directly by covering your nose while spraying. Make sure the rooms you clean are well ventilated.
* Continuous In-flight Radiation, especially at high altitudes, closer to the earth's poles: This is applicable to women working as pilots or flight crew members. It has been observed that those who often fly for long hours at very high altitudes, close to the poles are at a risk of exposure to solar radiation. Though the risk may be small, pregnant women are advised to avoid it.
* Mercury-rich Fish: Though fish is considered one of the healthiest types of foods, pregnant women should avoid seafood with high mercury content. Shark, swordfish, King mackerel, tile fish are especially to be avoided. Similarly, raw fish could contain bacteria and parasites and should be avoided.
*Microwave radiation: Although the benefits of the microwave far outweigh any risks it might pose, studies show that the fetus is especially vulnerable to being affected adversely. So, while you don't have to stop using the microwave, you should take some precautions while using it. Make sure the microwave has no leaks. Do not stand in front of the microwave or very close to it while it runs.
* Air Pollution: Avoid or reduce the inhalation of polluted air and exhaust fumes. Keep your rooms well-ventilated, especially the ones with fireplaces, burners or stoves.
* Paint fumes: Although lead based paints are no longer used, paint fumes are best avoided. Some paints have been shown to have unsafe amounts of mercury and other substances.
* Noise: Continuous exposure to loud noise has been known to cause miscarriages in animals. There is no study to prove a similar correlation in humans, but it is known that continuous exposure to loud noise causes hearing loss. So, to be on the safer side, pregnant women might want to avoid working in an environment that is too noisy all the time.

Some of these things make me feel like I should lock myself in my house LOL others are understandable I just wish people who are not pregnant could understand. 

Helpful ways to have a stress free healthy pregnancy from Women's Health Care Topic's:

1. Eat a healthy, well balanced diet. Eating well will provide you the energy you need to get through the day, especially when you feel tired or overworked. The more junk food you eat the more stressed your body will be. Your body needs ample nutrients to cope with daily stress.
   
2. Get plenty of sleep. The less sleep you get the more stressed you are likely to be. If you find you are having trouble sleeping invest in a comfortable body pillow, some new sheets and even a white noise machine to help block out outside noises and help promote more restful sleep. You may find it helpful to take a relaxing bath before bed. Also avoid eating up to one hour before bed to prevent heartburn, which can disrupt your sleep and increase your level of stress.
3. Exercise regularly. Exercise is an ideal way to help cope with daily stressors. It will also leave you feeling more energetic and ready to tackle the day's challenges. Some women find that exercising after work helps provide them the time they need to wind down and distress from their day at work. Exercise can also help ease labor and alleviate some of the anxiety associated with the upcoming labor and delivery.
   
4. Try some natural stress reduction techniques including biofeedback, yoga or meditation. Each of these methods is a non interventionist way to help you focus, identify stressors and release stress in a healthy, safe and energy producing manner.
   
5. Talk regularly with your partner. Your partner can help you work through your anxiety and help comfort you in times of high stress. By communicating regularly and openly with your partner you are bound to feel more prepared to deal with the challenges each day will bring.
   
6. Reduce your workload. If you find you are doing too much in a day find ways to delegate certain tasks to others. Carrying a baby for nine months is a lot of work. You should expect that those around you will be willing to take on more responsibility to help you out in your time of need.

I know that I am a stress cass anxiety crazy lady while pregnant  I am trying to not be with this pregnancy so its nice to be given was to reduce this.

Growing Belly

So as you all have heard we are FINALLY pregnant!! YAY after a year & A half of trying, tears, fear, fertility & frustration our prayers have been answered. We are still so excited & over joyed with this news & we can't wait to meet this new bean!

I have to tell you though I am a little lost when it comes to figuring out how far a long I am & its driving me a bit crazy!!! With Shiloh my doctor told me right away that I was barely 4 weeks with her when I had my blood test. But with this one they haven't told me & I don't have my first ultra sound until June 9th. For me that feels like forever away!!

Since March I have had a feeling I was pregnant.. you sometimes you just know. But I swear I took about 4 or 5 HPT & they were all negative! So I was like man it must just be me wanted it so bad now that I am just thinking I am. Then in April I had a visit from Auntie Flow, but now I am thinking it was not her visiting at all. Maybe I am actually further a long then we thought.. instead of 6 weeks along I could be 12 weeks along. I know that is a big jump but my cycle is very weird.

I just feel like I am really big for only being 6 weeks. I know they say with your second you show a lot sooner.. but I already have a bump & its not one I can really hide anymore! I mean maybe its twins but even then am I already suppose to be showing? I just want to know LOL

Here is the BIG BELLY

I am one of those people that while pregnant I am very organized, I have everything planned out & set within the first trimester & I am crazy with anxiety!! So this not knowing if I am due in November or January is killing me. Also not knowing if it is twins is as well.. I am so not good at having patients when it comes to baby LOL I wanna know now I don't want to wait & when it comes to the sex I wish you knew right away because it seems to take for ever to get to the 18th week to know!

Other then me feeling huge, I am actually feeling really good. I am still adjusting to being tired all the time but other then that no sickness or feeling nauseous {unless in the car} since March & the dizziness only appears when I need to eat or fluids. Eating & smells aren't an issue with this pregnancy either.. I want to eat EVERYTHING & I do LOL! With Shiloh I was only able to eat fruit, veggies & cheese burgers from McDonald's & if Stephen was going to cook I had to have him open all the windows & I had to shut myself in our room. I am using the bathroom a LOT & that gets frustrating at night because already I am having a hard time sleeping & getting comfy so it seems like once I am comfy I have to run to the bathroom. Emotionally I feel good, I am super sensitive though & I have purposely been avoiding anyone who is negative because I don't want to have any stress in this pregnancy like I did with Shiloh. I find that watching anything that is the least bit sad brings me to tears & even balling like a baby LOL & I am back & forth on certain things that I normally wouldn't be that way with. My tata's don't seem bigger just full & they are finally not hurting anymore.. well not like they were.

So with this pregnancy we are off to a good start.. I can't wait for June 9th to find out how far a long I am & if there is one or two beans in the belly. I think we are set on our names & we are already making a list of things we are going to need when baby comes!

I will try & post as often as I can with this pregnancy so I have a journal to reflect on later & so all of you can hear about my progress.. so stay tuned for more Baby Flores News to come!

Baby Name Help

So I know its early on in my pregnancy {or maybe not will know more June 9th} but Stephen & I are going through names. We have a ton of names but now that the baby is on their way now we are trying to seal the name in stone :-) We are still unsure if we are having a girl or boy or maybe even twins.. so we want to hear some of the names other people love.

Now this is going to be harder then you think. We named our Daughter Shiloh Rose Flores which means:

Shiloh: His Gift

Rose: From the Cherryblossom

Flores: Flowers

So this baby has to match up with that. The name has to have a good meaning & be unique.. nothing dark or that means park or tree bark LOL. We need it to flow as well & it can't be a name that is too powerful.. we don't want them to carry the weight of a big name. So here are the names we have so far:

 Our Boy names:

1.  Brennen- Prince
2. Dominic- Lord
3. Gabriel- God is my strength
4. Austin- Helpful
5. Christian- follower of Christ
6. Isaiah- God is salvation

Our Girl names:

1. Adalyn- Noble kind
2. Jocelyn- Joyous
3. Makayla- Who resembles God
4. Gabriella- Devoted to God
5. Brynlee- Radiant
6. Zooey- Life
7. Phoebe- Bright radiant

The middle name for a boy would be Matthew & Girl would be Elaine or Nicole {depending on the name we choose}.

If we have twins here are the names we have for them:

Boy Twins:

1. Austin & Alexander
2. Brennen & Blake

None of these names are sticking like we want though

Girl Twins:

1. Adalyn & Jocelyn
2. Phoebe & Zooey
3. Phoebe & Payton

We love all these one but don't know which to choose

Boy & Girl Twins:

1. Adalyn & Austin
2. Jocelyn & Jacob
3. Brennen & Brynlee

So here they are.. tell us what you think & give us your suggestions :-) 

Baby Flores #2

On a drive we were taking on Sunday, Stephen & I got to talking about Baby Flores #2 & I have come to the conclusion that I may be further a long then we thought & here is why:

Back in March I started to get super tired, crazy & not so crazy cravings, peeing very often way more then normal, putting on a little extra weight, nauseous & more recently dizzy. In April right around the time my menstrual cycle was due I started spotting I thought humm this is odd.. the second day it was a little heavier but not by much & then by day four it was almost gone & that is when I started the fertility & then on day five it was gone.. I thought it was due to the fertility but now I am thinking it was implantation bleeding. If that be the case that would put me at 11 weeks prego.. which is crazy to me because the nauseousness didn't last very long & I actually feel pretty good and the only thing that reminds me that I am prego are constantly being super tired, cravings , extremely sore tatas & the bump that is visible. So if I am not that far along then there is a really good possibility it is twins since I am already pooping out.

As of now the pregnancy has been treating me well. I can actually take my prenatal vitamins & not get sick.. with Shiloh I had to switch to Flintstone Gummies & I could not keep a thing down except fruits, veggies & McDonald's. With this little Turkey I am able to eat EVERYTHING & I am loving it! I am having a hard time getting comfy & the closterfobic feeling has begun as well so I thinking because of that I am even more tired. I am still having dizzy spells from time to time & that is not fun but manageable now. But other then that I feel great.. I have the normal changes going on that come with pregnancy but nothing I can't handle. So its pretty nice.

I have my first Ultra Sound on June 9th so at that point we can see if there are two viable sacks or just one.. & if I am as far along as I think we are I may even find out the sex at that point too. I do however plan on calling the doctor tomorrow to see if I should come in sooner because I have to make sure to get the RhoGam shot because I am RH negative & I can't miss that.

We are still over joyed with excitement & feel so blessed to have this new life we have created growing in my belly. We are practicing names with Shiloh & getting her ready to be a big sister. I feel like a million pounds have been lifted off my shoulders & I no longer have to stress about having at least one more baby.. because our wish has come true.

SOOC Saturday ~ The Straight Out of Camera Image

Follow along each Saturday with Straight Out Of Camera started by Slurping Life.

What it is you take a photo  straight out of the camera No Editing allowed. 

Then head over to Slurping Life & link up.

 So we received some wonderful news.. while some may think its too soon to tell.. we just could not keep it a secret very long we had to share in our joy & happiness.
Happy Mother's Day To Me
There is nothing more I could have wished for!

We are so excited to be expecting our second baby.. & that Shiloh is finally going to be a BIG SISTER❤
I took these pictures at Stephen's store. I hadn't told him the amazing news.. I just showed up with Shiloh wearing this shirt that I purchased at Sugar Babies.. this super cute boutique near our house.. at first he didn't noticed.. then he took a double look & said "Are you serious? No way?" he was elated!!

Fertility Update

***FYI you may find that I share TMI but if don't want to know then DON'T Read :-)***

This post is intended for others who have had or are having fertility problems, questions & or are going through fertility treatments as I am or for the general reader curious as to what taking fertility entails!

So I haven't really shared my progress with you about my fertility & how it has been going. To be honest I didn't think I would have much to share... well I was wrong.
 
I started the pill clomid on April 5th and finished my first round on April 9th which where my cycle days 4 through 8. I didn't notice any changes.. no side effects nothing. The only thing that changed was my period was gone no more.. which means it only lasted 4 1/2 days.. well for me that is a dream come true because I NEVER have a short period it is always 7 days no matter what. So this was a nice thing to of come out of taking fertility.

So I started tracking for ovulation on the 10th day as instructed.. I went through two packs to be exact because on my last two sticks cycle days 23 & 24 it said I was ovulating. I was so excited because I didn't think I would.. I thought for sure I would have to have the clomid dosage upped.. so when I saw the two lines I jumped for joy. So I am sure you know what happened after that.

I want to say a week after I ovulated I started to feel different.. tingles in my chest area, nauseous {I always feel nauseous but a lot more then normal}, VERY EMOTIONAL.. I mean I couldn't even watch my tv programs & not cry & I am not a cry baby, clothes aren't fitting, I am super sensitive to light, & I am super tired ALL the time again!! Then the dizziness kicked in. I couldn't turn back to look at Shiloh in the car or I would get nauseous & dizzy, I could get up too fast.. dizzy, I could close my eyes to try & stop feeling dizzy & the room would feel like it was spinning, I could be sitting doing nothing.. dizzy.. anything I did or didn't do I was dizzy. So On Saturday I thought why not test you never know it may work.. but deep down I knew it was too soon.. so of course it was a BFN {Big Fat Negative}!

So now we are on cycle day 34.. well 35 since it is going to be after mid night when I post this :-) Then yesterday I had it bad.. I couldn't do anything! I couldn't pick Shiloh up, I couldn't move fast, I couldn't sit, lay or stand nothing.. it all made me dizzy. So I had to sit the entire afternoon on the couch until Stephen was home feeling like I could pass out at anytime. {This is not easy when you have a very active toddler mind you & its super scary! } Stephen of course asked if I had eaten.. I said yes.. everything in site! He then asked if I had water or fluids I said yes all day & it is making me need to pee every 20 mins! So then his response.. weird. Typical Male Response I must add LOL

Well then today I woke up feeling a little better.. I could still feel the dizziness in the back of my head but I was trying so hard to ignore it. Well we all got ready to start our day & it hit me.. dizzy again! Ugh I was so annoyed so I ate a Kellogs Bar.. didn't help.. had coffee.. made it worse.. then we get to the mall.. & I start feeling it a 100 times worse then ever. So I tell Stephen we need to go. It probably didn't help that I was in a panic because I forgot to pay our rent.. that is another thing that is happening.. I am forgetting EVERYTHING! But we head home.. after a few stops at some stores to pick up my next round of fertility {since I should start my next cycle soon} & some lunch. We arrive at home. I ate.. & I still felt horrible so I go & lay down.. I am shaking & starting to sweat which is never a good sign. So I call Dr. M.. leave a message & wait for a returned call.

2:45pm Nurse J calls me back.. I tell her what is happening & that its scaring me because it stats on the prescription if feeling the exact way that I am to call your physician immediately! She said she is not sure & wants to see what Dr. M recommends & that she will call me back in a little while to not leave. So I wait.. & wait & wait.. & by 5pm I am freaking out because its so bad that I now can barely sit up. So I call the nurse & hear the message the office is now closed.. so I hang up & call my mom.. she said to call back & get the on call Dr. So as I was doing so Nurse J was calling.. she told me to take a HPT {home pregnancy test} & said to call them in the morning to schedule some blood work to be done if it was negative {& of course it was negative. With Shiloh a home test didn't work for me & a blood test barely showed at 4 weeks & they had to retest me}.. so now I have been in bed most of the day & I am still super dizzy & wondering am I or am I not.. ??

The waiting is killing me.. but we shall know soon what is going on. If I am not .. well then I am not sure how much more of these fertility treatments I can take.. they are making me a crazy dizzy lady who cries over the small things & I don't know if I like that person very much & if I can handle 6 more months of her.. so I pray God is deciding its time for us soon to have baby #2 or I may just have to put my hopes on the shelf for now & take a break.. even if its against my Dr. orders & could lesson my chances even more.. because of my other medical condition that could return at anytime & ruin it ALL.

So I am praying that I am & that the blood test will show that. I pray that what ever this is will leave me soon & I can feel like myself again & most of all I pray that everything will turn out okay & that my health issues will still allow me to have another child & soon.

Feelings on Fertility

So yesterday I took my first round of the clomiphene or clomid as most know it by. I had to wait longer then I wanted to start it because my cycle once again went off track.. so of course I was excited & thought I was pregnant. But on the 44th day into my cycle the lovely aunt flow paid a visit. I was happy but yet sad.. so many emotions come from trying to conceive I just am at a loss for how to feel any more. I get excited talk to friends about it & then she shows up. For a few months my cycle was regular for probably the first time in years!! So of course I was super happy & it made me feel so hopeful.. but it didn't last long for me to fall off track again & for all those sad frustrating feeling to return. For a YEAR now we have actively tried for another baby.. & for people who are in the same boat or who have had fertility problems themselves know that its draining.. all the hope that comes with it starts to turn to sadness frustration & for me.. made me not even want to try anymore. For people who don't have problems conceiving who can get pregnant without the waiting or having to go on fertility you would never understand.. at least not like someone who has gone through it. I don't want anyone to think that I am ungrateful because I am far from that I feel so fortunate to have Shiloh who was a miracle baby & who was conceived naturally. I thank the man above for giving us her & for allowing her to be the center of our world. I just want another baby for her to have a sibling & for us to have two {or 3 or 4 or even more} miracles to love & care for.
If you don't know me on a personal level then you would not know how much I LOVE CHILDREN. Since I was a little girl I have always been a mom, weather it was to my dolls, cat {RIP Scooter}, cousins or just the neighborhood kids. I have ALWAYS dreamed of the day that I could have a real baby & be the mom that my mom inspired me to be. I remember telling my mom for my 16th birthday I didn't want a  car like most teens want, I wanted a mini van so I could have it for when I have all my babies. Being a mom was always my dream & I now love that I am one.. I just want at least one more.
I always wanted a house full of kids.. I think the sound of little feet running through the house & laughter is the most amazing thing. I love hearing Shiloh giggle & run around moving the furniture playing with her toys.. being a mommy to her babies. I love cuddling with her & spending my days with her.. while most people dream of having their dream career as a nurse, lawyer, manager of a company or to own their own company.. my dream was to be happily married & to be a stay at home mom. Looking at Shiloh & knowing she is my daughter.. is something that as a mom makes me so happy & at times even tears me up because I feel so lucky to have this life & this beautiful child. To this day I still sometimes go.. "Am I dreaming.. I am really a MOM.. Life is good.. really good" and smile because this is all I ever dreamed of. I have the most amazing supportive husband who stands by me & loves me at times more then I deserve.. I think when you have someone amazing to share you life with & someone who is an amazing father it makes you want babies or more babies in my case.
So as we start this new chapter with trying for baby #2 I am excited, hopeful & yet scared. I am excited that I am taking clomid & that my chances of conceiving are higher now, hopeful because so many have conceived on it & yet scared that I am going to be one of the ones that it does not work for. I have to stay positive though I am not a negative person & honestly can't stand people who always complain or who are negative so I am not going to turn into my worst nightmare.. I am just going to keep an open mind.. continue thanking God for all he has blessed me with & remind myself each day that everything happens when its suppose to not necessarily when we want them to! I know I am suppose to have another baby or even babies... I know that Shiloh is not made to be an only child that she is meant to be a big sister..  & I know that if we can't have a baby naturally there is always Option B.. Adoption, which I would still love to do even if we are able to conceive. I think for now its taking one day at a time.. start enjoying the process & stop looking at it as something that could turn out to be nothing & look at it as something that can turn into something wonderful. So wish me luck & I will keep you posted ;-)

Fertility

So today I met with a new doctor that I am going to refer to as Dr. M. She was awesome. I tell you having a doctor you feel comfortable with is so important! She & I went over my conditions & what is to come & of course the next step for me to conceive & she decided that putting me on Clomid was the best thing for me. I was hesitant before about starting fertility because A: I still wanted to conceive naturally B: I think I was in denial & C: Cost. We have never been concerned with multiples.. well at least I haven't, Stephen is still scared. I think our biggest concern was cost, but after speaking with Dr. M she said she has never had anyone tell her that it was not affordable & that the generic is covered by my insurance so we will see. I will start it this month & she gave me 6 refiles. She also told me to buy a ovulation test so I can make sure I am ovulating & so we know for sure. So I am scared.. but excited that our chances of conceiving are higher now & that the waiting is almost over for us to have another baby.
Dr. M feels this is the best thing for me at this time since we are wanting more children. She said that I am going to need to have a hysterectomy once I am done having babies due to my medical conditions but that carrying the baby should not be an issue.. but that they will monitor me through my first trimester just to make sure. She said with Clomid there are risk of cyst forming on my ovaries but she didn't seem to concerned with it at the moment.
So I am really excited & happy that we can now hopefully get pregnant & soon. I will keep you posted once I start the Clomid this month & let you know my progress & all the side effects so that other people who are considering this can see my experience.
Dr. M said that if this does not work in 6 months she has one other oral medicine to put me on & then if that does not work then I have to see a specialist about other forms of fertility.
So cross your fingers for us & keep us in your prayers that we can conceive & soon with a healthy baby in the next few months.

Baby this year Maybe??

So if you read my old blog you may have read about us wanting another baby {I also added it to this one too A Baby} & my condition called PCOS. My husband & I have been trying since last April to have another miracle baby & just recently I gave up & started looking into fertility only to find that the cost is just outrageous so we can't fit that into our budget just yet, so I just started to just except that its just not the right time & its seems its that our prayers have yet to be heard.

But today that little bit of hope that I seemed to of put on the self & ignore returned.. there are a lot of people I know that have babies that were born in 2008 the same year as Shiloh & so far I know of 4 of them being pregnant again. So call me odd, call it pure weirdness, call it me finding something to give me hope but I think with that I might have a chance in conceiving naturally too!! I mean it happened with Shiloh why wouldn't it happen again for us? My sister has the same condition & she conceived both her babies naturally. So I am hoping that for us we can as well. Knowing that all these people are pregnant again just gives me that much more drive & motivation to continue trying & I feel excited about this. So I have a lot of praying to do & I hope you can join me & say a prayer for us as well. We want so badly to add to our family & to give Shiloh a sibling.. we know that God has a plan for everyone we just pray that this is part of what he has instore for us. Will we have a baby in 2010 just maybe.. I think keeping the hope can only lead to a great outcome.

Thanks for reading!

A Baby

Dear Santa,

I thought that you had read my list of wants for Christmas this year but it seems that you over looked the one thing I really really wanted A Baby! So since Aunt Flow has decided to bless me with a visit this morning, I have now decided that it is time to call the doctor to get on the dreaded fertility drugs. So I guess I wasn't as good of a girl as I thought I was this year. Sad.

Sincerely,

Sweetness

Praying For A Miracle

For most of you this is a subject I haven't talked about freely. Its a pretty sensitive subject for me only because its something I am still excepting, understand & dealing with. This past September after trying for baby #2 for 6 months, having test after test done, having horrible cramps & bloating, to not having my monthly cycle for months at a time & completely feeling depressed about never getting answers to why; I was told that in order for me to have another child I would have to go on fertility treatments due to having a condition called PCOS (Polycysitc Ovary Syndrome)  The doctor told me it was a miracle that I ever conceived naturally & that Sweet Pea is a true blessing to be thankful for. So she said that she could put me on Clomiphene or Metformin & start treatment right away, but I told her not yet, that I still wanted to try naturally & that I wanted to read up on this to be informed before making a decision. Some of you may know I am not one to take medicine not even when I have a killer headache that makes my head feel like it is going to explode or when I am sick with the flu.. my usual method for healing is sleep soup & love from Stud Muffin & Sweet Pea. So for me to get on this medicine is really a challenge for me as a person (I know I am so stubborn). But it is something I am going to finally except & do because not only do I want another baby but so does Stud Muffin & Sweet Pea is in dyer need of a sibling!! So I made the decision to call my doctor this morning to see when I can start on the fertility! As I sit here waiting for 9 AM to make the call i feel nervous & scared & hopeful this will work! I have done a lot of research on this drug & I am curious to see as to how long it will take for me to conceive & how the side affects will be for me considering that with any drug there is always a side affect & one of the reasons I don't like medicine is because I seem to get all the side affects. I know that with any fertility drug my chances of having multiples are higher which is a little scary but I know that if that is what God has decided for us then it is what is meant to be. Also I know that I am suppose to start taking the medicine within 5 to 9 days of starting my monthly cycle & on the 7th day I should start to ovulate.. the one thing my body does not know how to do. So I am praying that this isn't a long process like some have to go through & that it is painless & non time consuming. But even if this does not work by 6 months I know there are other drugs out there that may. I am just praying for another miracle here so I hope that God hear's our prayers & will bless us with another child or two or six even(scary)! So keep us in your thoughts & prayers & hopefully baby Flores #2 will be on their way in 2010.