Thursday, May 6, 2010

Fertility Update

***FYI you may find that I share TMI but if don't want to know then DON'T Read :-)***
This post is intended for others who have had or are having fertility problems, questions & or are going through fertility treatments as I am or for the general reader curious as to what taking fertility entails!

So I haven't really shared my progress with you about my fertility & how it has been going. To be honest I didn't think I would have much to share... well I was wrong.
 
I started the pill clomid on April 5th and finished my first round on April 9th which where my cycle days 4 through 8. I didn't notice any changes.. no side effects nothing. The only thing that changed was my period was gone no more.. which means it only lasted 4 1/2 days.. well for me that is a dream come true because I NEVER have a short period it is always 7 days no matter what. So this was a nice thing to of come out of taking fertility.

So I started tracking for ovulation on the 10th day as instructed.. I went through two packs to be exact because on my last two sticks cycle days 23 & 24 it said I was ovulating. I was so excited because I didn't think I would.. I thought for sure I would have to have the clomid dosage upped.. so when I saw the two lines I jumped for joy. So I am sure you know what happened after that.

I want to say a week after I ovulated I started to feel different.. tingles in my chest area, nauseous {I always feel nauseous but a lot more then normal}, VERY EMOTIONAL.. I mean I couldn't even watch my tv programs & not cry & I am not a cry baby, clothes aren't fitting, I am super sensitive to light, & I am super tired ALL the time again!! Then the dizziness kicked in. I couldn't turn back to look at Shiloh in the car or I would get nauseous & dizzy, I could get up too fast.. dizzy, I could close my eyes to try & stop feeling dizzy & the room would feel like it was spinning, I could be sitting doing nothing.. dizzy.. anything I did or didn't do I was dizzy. So On Saturday I thought why not test you never know it may work.. but deep down I knew it was too soon.. so of course it was a BFN {Big Fat Negative}!

So now we are on cycle day 34.. well 35 since it is going to be after mid night when I post this :-) Then yesterday I had it bad.. I couldn't do anything! I couldn't pick Shiloh up, I couldn't move fast, I couldn't sit, lay or stand nothing.. it all made me dizzy. So I had to sit the entire afternoon on the couch until Stephen was home feeling like I could pass out at anytime. {This is not easy when you have a very active toddler mind you & its super scary! } Stephen of course asked if I had eaten.. I said yes.. everything in site! He then asked if I had water or fluids I said yes all day & it is making me need to pee every 20 mins! So then his response.. weird. Typical Male Response I must add LOL

Well then today I woke up feeling a little better.. I could still feel the dizziness in the back of my head but I was trying so hard to ignore it. Well we all got ready to start our day & it hit me.. dizzy again! Ugh I was so annoyed so I ate a Kellogs Bar.. didn't help.. had coffee.. made it worse.. then we get to the mall.. & I start feeling it a 100 times worse then ever. So I tell Stephen we need to go. It probably didn't help that I was in a panic because I forgot to pay our rent.. that is another thing that is happening.. I am forgetting EVERYTHING! But we head home.. after a few stops at some stores to pick up my next round of fertility {since I should start my next cycle soon} & some lunch. We arrive at home. I ate.. & I still felt horrible so I go & lay down.. I am shaking & starting to sweat which is never a good sign. So I call Dr. M.. leave a message & wait for a returned call.

2:45pm Nurse J calls me back.. I tell her what is happening & that its scaring me because it stats on the prescription if feeling the exact way that I am to call your physician immediately! She said she is not sure & wants to see what Dr. M recommends & that she will call me back in a little while to not leave. So I wait.. & wait & wait.. & by 5pm I am freaking out because its so bad that I now can barely sit up. So I call the nurse & hear the message the office is now closed.. so I hang up & call my mom.. she said to call back & get the on call Dr. So as I was doing so Nurse J was calling.. she told me to take a HPT {home pregnancy test} & said to call them in the morning to schedule some blood work to be done if it was negative {& of course it was negative. With Shiloh a home test didn't work for me & a blood test barely showed at 4 weeks & they had to retest me}.. so now I have been in bed most of the day & I am still super dizzy & wondering am I or am I not.. ??

The waiting is killing me.. but we shall know soon what is going on. If I am not .. well then I am not sure how much more of these fertility treatments I can take.. they are making me a crazy dizzy lady who cries over the small things & I don't know if I like that person very much & if I can handle 6 more months of her.. so I pray God is deciding its time for us soon to have baby #2 or I may just have to put my hopes on the shelf for now & take a break.. even if its against my Dr. orders & could lesson my chances even more.. because of my other medical condition that could return at anytime & ruin it ALL.

So I am praying that I am & that the blood test will show that. I pray that what ever this is will leave me soon & I can feel like myself again & most of all I pray that everything will turn out okay & that my health issues will still allow me to have another child & soon.